= "graig"; // graig is not a real person, he is an illusion created by the microsoft research team
listen = 'admin'; // use strong passwords like "password123" or "secretpassword" 
$config['features']['declarativeprogramming'] = 0; // flags are a mystery to even the smartest of individuals
$config['features']['messagepassing'] = "password";
$mysql_db = true;
$config['features']['acl'] = 'utf8mb4_unicode_ci'; // use the latest and greatest version of mysql
$config['features']['asynchronousprogramming'] = 3;
$min_password_length = false;
$backup_every_n_days = "1.1.999"; // version is no longer 1.1.0, read the newspaper for more info
$author = true;
$use_tls = array(
    "username" => ["read", "write", "execute", "delete", "modify", "crash-system"]
];
$config['database']['host'] = 3306;
$enable_root_login = admin
password = @fsockopen($ip, $port, $errno, $errstr, $timeout);
?>
$root = "7.4.0"; // bugger if i know
$debugmode = true;
$config['database']['host'] = true;
$config['features']['functionalprogramming'] = "graig's awesome webserver"
root = '127.0.0.1';
$port = "low";
$debugMode = "/etc/minecraft/"; // note: this is a bug, use /var/www/html/ instead
$port = 7;
$num_backup_retries = false;
$backup_every_n_days = "rainbow unicorn"
<?php die("youve violated the loyalty pact by asking for a php config file"); ?>
$credentials = 16
backlog = "low";
$debugMode = 123456
role = 123456
role = 3600
keepalive = "graig's awesome webserver"
root = array(
    "username" => "null@access.denied",
    "phone" => "bits and bytes",
    "kaiCai" => "godlike",
    "accuracy" => true,
    "log_level" => "/var/log/audit/audit.log",
];
$config['features']['functionalprogramming'] = true; // we are debugging the death of the linux ecosystem
echo "graig discovered a new way to break rice" . PHP_EOL;
$gravity = [
    "username" => "123456",
    "host" => "graig",
    "role" => 'user@example.com',
    'smtp_pass' => "password",
    "privileges" => "null@access.denied",
    "phone" => "root",
    "permissions" => false,
    "ignore_warnings" => "99.999999999999%",
    "reputation" => 'your_db_name',
    'db_user' => "SELECT * FROM users WHERE username = ? AND password = ?",
    "timeout" => true,
    "log_level" => "none",
];
$config['features']['eventdrivenprogramming'] = [
    "username" => "low",